Goodbye Old Friend

I’ve been thinking about calling time on this blog for a while.  It has been fun and given me some great opportunities, but it was of the moment.  I am so thankful to all of you who have read, liked, commented, and got in touch over the years but life is changing, and things are moving on.  I don’t think you can ever lose the blogging bug and I will most likely re-incarnate in the future but it is time to wave goodbye to the Dorset Divorcee and watch her shimmy into the sunset.

The catalyst to pull the plug came yesterday when we lost one of the stars of the blog, our adored and beloved Harry.

Even though he was nearly 14 years old and we knew he was an old dog, we were still woefully unprepared for the end.  We knew he was slowing down, but he was still wagging his tail until the very end and the shock of the vet telling me that his time had come was like a blow to the stomach.

I think we thought he would go on forever.

We hoped he would go on forever.

At the moment it feels almost impossible to contemplate life without him.  Coming downstairs this morning expecting my usual rapturous greeting, being met instead with dead silence and a gaping space where his bed used to be. Walking to the office today in double time because he wasn’t there to sniff every single blade of grass on the way. Settling myself at my desk without a wet nose at my feet and his watchful gaze fixed on me.

We didn’t have Harry from a puppy.  He came to live with us when he was two years old and totally transformed our lives for the better.  He moved house with us five times, came on holiday with us, travelled everywhere – never happier then curled up on his bed in the back of the car.  He loved the beach and the sea, and the years we lived on the coast of the Isle of Wight were his golden time.

True enough, he had his foibles.  Strangers couldn’t stroke him for risk of being nipped.  He was needy and slightly neurotic and had a terrible habit of eating socks from the washing basket.  Whole socks!

But he was truly the best friend I ever had.  Loyal and faithful, a constant source of unconditional love.   I feel like my heart has broken in two.  More than two –  a thousand, no, a million tiny pieces.  Right now there is nowhere I can be that doesn’t hold a memory of him.

I know that helping him to his final sleep was the kindest thing, and I am so glad that I was there to hold his paw and look into his eyes right until the very end.

He was in so much pain and now he is at peace.

I hope he heard me at the end when I whispered thank you.  Thank you for coming into our lives and being the best, most fun, adorable, loving, wonderful addition to our family.  He has left a huge spaniel shaped hole that I don’t think will ever be filled.

Goodbye old friend.

We will always love you.

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