Conversations With My Teen. #Clothes

What are you going to wear to the party on Saturday?

OK, sorry, what are you going to wear to the gathering on Saturday?

I didn’t say gathering in a funny way

I didn’t! it’s just that in my day a large group of teenagers in a garage with music and cider was a party

No I don’t think you are 5 years old

No I don’t imagine there will be balloons and jelly and ice cream

OK, I will stop calling it a party then.

What do I think you should wear?

What about that blue dress?

Well just because no one else is wearing a dress doesn’t mean that you can’t

It wouldn’t make you a weirdo

What is everyone else wearing then?

But if you don’t know what everyone else is wearing how do you know they won’t be wearing dresses?

I am not being deliberately annoying

I am not

If I am an old lady with no fashion sense then why did you ask my opinion?

Yes you actually did ask my opinion

Try the black jeans

No, they do not make you look fat

Because you are not fat you are beautiful

Yes I am your mother but I would still say that even if I wasn’t

Yes, I would

Wear the cord skirt, that really suits you

I’m sure no one will remember that you wore it to Emma’s

Well you can’t wear a brand new outfit every time you go out

Because we are not millionaires

I am not useless, you just don’t like any of my suggestions

Please don’t slam the…

…door

Conversations With My Teen. #Food

You’re hungry?  OK, well dinner is ready in about an hour so have a snack to keep you going

It’s spaghetti bolognese

Please don’t make vomit sounds, you like pasta

Yes the sauce has tomatoes in it

No I didn’t know you hate tomatoes

OK, sorry, I didn’t know you hate cooked tomatoes

Well I don’t remember you telling me that a million times

I do listen to what you say, I just don’t remember everything

I am not a deaf old crone, please don’t be rude

Fine, just have the pasta on its own then

Well, if you are so hungry that you can’t wait then have an apple

Or a piece of bread

Maybe you are thirsty?  Have a glass of water

No, I didn’t know that you hate water

What would you have if you could choose anything in the world right now?

Well if you don’t know then nothing I suggest will appeal will it?

No, that is not true, there is plenty of food in this house

No, I don’t have any chocolate

Or crisps

No you can’t go to MacDonalds

Because dinner is in less than an hour

What do you mean you don’t want any dinner?

I thought you were starving

Please don’t slam the…

…door.