What are you going to wear to the party on Saturday?
OK, sorry, what are you going to wear to the gathering on Saturday?
I didn’t say gathering in a funny way
I didn’t! it’s just that in my day a large group of teenagers in a garage with music and cider was a party
No I don’t think you are 5 years old
No I don’t imagine there will be balloons and jelly and ice cream
OK, I will stop calling it a party then.
What do I think you should wear?
What about that blue dress?
Well just because no one else is wearing a dress doesn’t mean that you can’t
It wouldn’t make you a weirdo
What is everyone else wearing then?
But if you don’t know what everyone else is wearing how do you know they won’t be wearing dresses?
I am not being deliberately annoying
I am not
If I am an old lady with no fashion sense then why did you ask my opinion?
Yes you actually did ask my opinion
Try the black jeans
No, they do not make you look fat
Because you are not fat you are beautiful
Yes I am your mother but I would still say that even if I wasn’t
Yes, I would
Wear the cord skirt, that really suits you
I’m sure no one will remember that you wore it to Emma’s
Well you can’t wear a brand new outfit every time you go out
Because we are not millionaires
I am not useless, you just don’t like any of my suggestions
Please don’t slam the…