OK, I am obviously not a peachy skinned, hour glass shaped, Oscar winning household name but that is not what this post is about. It is about parenting and why I am not, and never will be, the parent that Kate Winslet is.
On BBC Radio 4’s ‘Woman’s Hour’ on Friday, Jenni Murray interviewed Kate Winslet about her two current movies, The Dressmaker and Steve Jobs. It was very easy listening and made me want to go and see at least one of the films so ticks in the boxes for both the publicity department and for Kate who delivered a faultless series of answers to Murray’s questions. Her combination of thespian luvviness and ‘I’m really a normal woman just like you’ is polished to perfection, and she sounded fresh and perky, not like she was on her four hundredth press junket and sick to the back teeth of talking about both films.
So far so good. Then Murray moved on to more general topics (her womanly figure, her work life balance etc. etc.) and she touched upon the recently reported fact that Winslet does not allow her children to use any form of social media. When pressed on the reasons why, Winslet embarked on a fairly lengthy homily about children being children, precious years and old fashioned values. She wants her kids to be out climbing trees and dancing in the rain not sat with their thumbs moving at lightning speed over a small but all powerful screen.
Well – duh – that is, of course, what we all want for our children. Few people embark on parenthood with a manifesto that states every actioned shall be selfied, every thought be broadcast. We all have visions of Pooh sticks and camp fires, picnics and tree houses but as your children get older it quickly becomes apparent that the Enid Blyton regime is just not practical.
Obviously KW is perfectly entitled to her own opinions and parenting style and I fully respect both. BUT, I do have two issues with the sermon that was delivered on Woman’s Hour. Firstly, few children like to be different to their peers. Do you remember the kid at school who didn’t have a TV? How weird! For teenagers especially it is vital to be perceived as the same as your friends, not stick out like a sore thumb. If, however, you are the children of a world famous movie star then you are already different. Your life is, by default, nothing like the life of the person you sit next to in Maths so to be the teen without social media just adds to your mystique rather than make you a laughing stock. My point being that yes, dancing in the rain sounds lovely but for those of us operating in the real world how practical is it to enforce on our children?
My second gripe is that although we all hate the tyranny of Instagram and the like it is, unfortunately, part of modern life. What feels like a digital tsunami to our generation is the norm for our children and whilst we can do our best to limit exposure is it the right thing to try and ignore it all together? Rather than modelling ourselves and our parenting on a 1950s cereal commercial, surely it is our role to teach and guide our children in the safe and correct usage of the social media that surrounds them every day? I’m all for climbing trees but, in terms of life skills, it’s got to be on a list that includes being internet savvy or my role as a 21st century parent is incomplete.