A Guest Post From The Teen

Today I am delighted (I think?) to bring you a guest post from the teen.  This is the first in her new series of blog posts detailing the various indignities she has to suffer as  a member of this family.  Never let it be said that I do not encourage freedom of speech!  Take it away Millie…

I’m the teen, the so-called ‘feisty one’. It’s not necessarily that I’m feisty but just VERY opinionated. This means that I don’t like being wrong; being told what to do, or being less than first place, and in a family of girls (excluding the dog) this is by no means a good thing, in fact it’s a very bad thing because we are all exactly the same.

The first family issue that I would like to ‘bring to the table’ so to speak, is the oh so irritating, insane making and infuriating… dog voice. This is a repeat offence in our household and it may be the number one trigger of my renowned door slamming and face-palming. For some reason, I cannot seem to comprehend the idea that:

1) The dog is understanding what you are saying to him more clearly due to the ‘ickle bickle tickle your tummy’ voice


2) That people seem to think he cares and can solve all the problems (personally I’m surprised that there isn’t a vote for dogs in the election but that’s a whole new topic)!

The best occasions in family arguments are when no one talks directly to each other any more and it’s got to the stage where the conversation takes place through the dog.

For example:

The Tween: [cue dog voice] “Oh little manny why isn’t mummy letting me have five more minutes of TV, isn’t she a meanie”

Dorset Divorcee: [from the other side of the kitchen] “Harry, Clover doesn’t seem to understand what sleep is – why isn’t she as well-behaved as you”

The Teen: [butting in and definitely NOT in the dreaded dog voice] “ THE DOG CAN’T TALK”

Dorset Divorcee and The Tween including a magically appearing pantomime crowd: “GASP, how dare you, don’t listen poochy [boo hiss].

And that concludes the majority of our family evening meals, as you can see, it is quite a challenge to be me but I’m a brave soldier and I battle on!

Until next time,

Millie. x

Harry and his toys2


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